The Heart of The Matter
Many people have misconceptions about eating disorders like Anorexia, and they assume that the sole reason for the disorder is simply wanting to be skinny or not wanting to eat. But there is almost always a deeper reason to certain behaviors! In fact, many people fall into addiction and disorders because of deep-seated emotional pains and traumas. For most, Anorexia stems from a lack of self-love; be it a lack of self-love in the individual, in an abuser, a bully or parent (genetics). If someone is being physically or verbally abused, that person may start to put extra attention on their appearance to either distract themselves from their issues or to understand and fix what's wrong with them. The blame is unfortunately misplaced many times when it comes to abuse, so rather than asking yourself, "What's wrong with me?", ask "What's wrong with them?"
Control
Many eating disorders emerge when a person feels powerless in their life, so they resort to monitoring their calorie-intake as a means to have control over something in the havoc of life. Although Anorexia provides the illusion of control at first, it quickly dominates and steals the control for itself. The disease becomes demanding and your mood and worth is determined by a number on a scale, the reflection in a mirror, or the size of your clothes. We have to realize that in order to take control of our lives, we can't give into the problems and obstacles that we encounter. We have to stay strong, and for many of you, conquering this disorder will be the very thing that teaches you how to be.
Losing Weight
Eating disorders can stem from simply having the desire to lose weight, but eventually becoming obsessed with the task. A few years ago, I almost stopped eating when I was desperately trying to lose weight. After a few days of restricting my calorie intake, I started getting hunger headaches and snapped out of my behavior. I reminded myself that I wanted to lose weight healthily, and starvation was not going to help me achieve that. I've never completely fallen into an ED, but I know that the very goal of wanting to lose weight can turn into obsession, frustration and starvation, especially if you're uneducated about the body (like I was)! Being unknowledgeable about our bodies makes developing an eating disorder more likely since so many people blame food for weight gain without completely understanding how their bodies work.
"Perfect" Standards
Anorexia can stem from perfectionism, which is actually where my Body Dysmorphia arose from. Many of us set high standards for ourselves, and a lot of the time these things don't bring us happiness, especially if we're only trying to make other people happy through these goals, or disallowing ourselves to be happy unless we achieve them. Some of us might feel like we have to impress everyone and make everyone happy, even if it makes us miserable. Because of this, many people develop eating disorders or severely low self-esteem because of the extra focus on appearance, skill or intelligence. We start to think that if we looked or behaved differently, we would be more loved and appreciated by others, but what fun is life when you're living it only to bring others happiness at the expense of your own? Not everyone will like us, and if they don't, why should we try to mold ourselves into something that will make them feel better?
Don't be a slave to other people's expectations, especially the ones that won't truly make you happy in the end. Most importantly, don't be a slave to the part of you that tries to tell you that you aren't good enough! Do things that make you feel full of life, not things that exhaust or hurt you. Be happy, love every part of yourself, and smile from your heart. If someone doesn't like who you truly are, forget about it! It's your beautiful life, not their's.
Don't be a slave to other people's expectations, especially the ones that won't truly make you happy in the end. Most importantly, don't be a slave to the part of you that tries to tell you that you aren't good enough! Do things that make you feel full of life, not things that exhaust or hurt you. Be happy, love every part of yourself, and smile from your heart. If someone doesn't like who you truly are, forget about it! It's your beautiful life, not their's.
Comparison
I definitely know what it feels like to compare oneself to others. Be it comparison of looks, intelligence or personality. We compare ourselves to others because we aren't comfortable with who we are, so instead of discovering and appreciating our own beauty, we fault ourselves for not looking or acting like a certain person. Many people will try to lose weight so they could look like someone else, or hide their true personality to mimic another person's behavior. We see these people getting praised and complemented for their looks and personality, and some of us want that attention too (this is natural and completely understandable). But we don't need someone else to validate our beauty for us. Notice how the word self-esteem has self in it! Be happy and love yourself. You don’t need someone to tell you that you're beautiful to believe that you are.
If we gave ourselves the same kind of adoration that we give the people whom we compare ourselves to, I'm positive that your self-esteem can change. Drop someone a compliment, sure, but don't forget to give one to yourself.
So, what’s at the heart of your eating disorder? Discovering the emotional attachments to this illness and confronting them could very well help your recovery. Depending on your reason, you may realize that there was much more to your mission than you thought.
If we gave ourselves the same kind of adoration that we give the people whom we compare ourselves to, I'm positive that your self-esteem can change. Drop someone a compliment, sure, but don't forget to give one to yourself.
So, what’s at the heart of your eating disorder? Discovering the emotional attachments to this illness and confronting them could very well help your recovery. Depending on your reason, you may realize that there was much more to your mission than you thought.